A long way to go?

To celebrate our two year anniversary in Australia Mum can’t help but reflect on how much we have changed, and what we’ve achieved in the past two years. On January 13th 2010 we landed in Sydney, ready to start our new Australian life. I didn’t imagine then that we had so many challenging, stressful and emotionally draining times ahead.

Conscious that many families arrive in Australia at this time of year, after a last Christmas with family ‘back home’, we thought it would be useful to share some of the emotions we felt then (when we first arrived) and how we feel two years on. If you’ve just arrived and are experiencing any (or all!) of the ‘then’ emotions we describe, we hope what we are feeling now will give you encouragement. Things get easier, we promise.

Australian relocation emotions: then and now

Then Now
Out of place – from the moment we set down in Sydney and started to set-up our new life I felt like I had a big sign above my head saying, “Newbie!” I felt everything I did stood out to the locals as being wrong and foreign. Feeling out of place wasn’t enjoyable. At home – My newbie sign has lifted; I finally said goodbye to it about six months ago. I know the ropes now and feel comfortable and confident in my environment. Occasionally I’m thrown into a situation that is unfamiliar and I feel out of place but it’s rare. I also think past challenges have made me care less about what people think.
Overwhelmed – It was the decision making that overwhelmed me the most when we arrived in Sydney, and I’m a fairly decisive person! I remember standing in a supermarket feeling furious that not only did I need to decide where to live and what childcare centre to use, but I also had to choose a new brand of washing powder! As I said…I was overwhelmed. At ease – Moving from London to Sydney has taught me to be more relaxed. The slower pace of life and laid back Aussie attitude are rubbing off and I’m learning to relax about little things. The relocation journey itself has taught me how much I can cope with. I often catch myself using Aussie phrases like “She’ll be right!” and “Suck it up!” to get over challenges and setbacks.
Vulnerable – when we first arrived in Sydney it felt like the smallest thing could make us regret our decision to leave London. Finding work and paying rent was our biggest stress and we were paranoid our savings would run out and we’d have to head back to the UK. Resilient – Two years after we blew all our savings and moved to Sydney without work, we have realised how resilient we are as a couple and family. We have stayed focused and positive and proved that we can get through most challenges.

Our then and now descriptions highlight some of the strongest emotions we dealt with once we’d arrived in Sydney as a migrant family.

Guilty + Peoplesick: some things don’t change

Despite feeling stronger emotionally and much more settled in Australia, there are some feelings that won’t go away.

  • Guilt – Living apart from family and friends around the world feels like a selfish decision. We’ve chosen to do what we think is best for our children, rather than stay close to out extended family, in particular our aging parents. It’s a decision we live with but it’s not easy. Right now, despite the guilt, we think we’ve done the right thing – we’ll see how these emotions fare over future years.
  • Peoplesick – Two years isn’t long enough to replace family ties and life-long friendships, we still miss people from the UK all the time. Skype and regular visits help, but whatever we do, we still speak and see the most significant people in our lives far less than we did before. We’ve made great friends here – if we left now there are many people we would miss dearly. Missing family and friends is one of the things that I force myself to be brave about, I’ve lost count of the times I tell myself to “Suck it up!” If we were so peoplesick we couldn’t function properly here, we would have to leave. For us, missing people is always there but we’ve learnt not to let it get us down.

Have you just arrived in Australia? If you arrived this week we’ll share our Aussie relocation anniversary – cheers to that! Whenever you arrived we hope you’re enjoying your new life. If you’re overwhelmed, feeling out of place and vulnerable, we hope you are at home, at ease and resilient very soon. We’d love to hear how you’re getting on – comments below or over on our Facebook Page please. Thank you.

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